Taking the Pressure Off...

This is just a bit of a quick one and also a slight break from my safety and stabilisation series but it's about an approach that I've been trying to implement in my life at the moment and something that I've come to realise is really important and that is...

Taking the pressure off!

What has lead me down this path?

The truth is, over the past couple/few months, I got pretty stressed out.

The things I was stressed about...

(a shortened list)

My Health

This is not something that I have spoken about on this blog before but since March this year, I've been suffering from seizures.  The situation just seemed to get worse and worse, with the seizures becoming more frequent and affecting many aspects of my life.  I also ended up spending a great deal of time chasing neurology referrals.

(This is certainly something I want to share more about.)

An incident at work that made me feel uncomfortable and anxious for some time.

Getting my final dissertation for my master degrees to meet my exacting standards.

(Typical perfectionist)

Feeling as though I was not doing well in therapy and putting pressure on myself to reach a certain point with my therapy before my psychologist goes on leave again.

My Financial Situation.

General worries about family members.

Not being where I want to be in life.

Listing these things makes me realise just how much stress I was under.

I'm not saying that other people don't have as much to worry about, we all have our worries and if something feels like it's a problem to you, then it is a problem.

I guess that's part of my point.

What I realised was that getting unnecessarily and excessively stressed about things I could not control and putting too much pressure on myself, only served to make everything feel worse and more stressful.  By putting too much pressure on myself, I was jeopardising everything that had been going well for me.

So...

I (with some input from my psychologist) decided to make an honest attempt at taking the pressure off and I have to say, I'm feeling a lot better for it.

Here's what taking the pressure off involved for me...

I hope it offers some ideas for you too because after all, life is far too short to be filled with stress.

Don't worry about things you can't control.

In my opinion, this is the root of all stress really.  I think that in general we have far less control than we think we have, or than we'd want to have, so we always latch onto what little we have in the hope of gaining more.  The reality is though that there are going to be things in life that you just can't change but there's plenty you can, so focus your efforts on that.

It's not all about the end goal, it's about what you learn along the way.

This one more relates to therapy for me but in any situation, if you get too het up about reaching the end goal it is only going to do more harm than good.  Sometimes life is about just going with the process and seeing what you can pick up on the way.

Anything that is worthwhile is not worth rushing.

It takes as long as it takes.

Accept your limitations for now.

There is no use in trying to be anymore than you are able to be, it will only serve to make you feel inadequate.  If you accept the limitations you currently have in your life, you are better able to feel more comfortable and settled in your current situation.  For me, this meant accepting that at the moment due to my health, I can't always be relied upon in the way that I would like to be able to.  It's not my fault, I can't change it, it might improve but for now that's how it is and I can't expect anymore from myself.

You are enough, just as you are.

Don't rule your life according to other people's standards.

Other people are always going to have an opinion on what you should be doing or where you should be going and most of the time those opinions come from a place of care and concern.  Advice is great but at the end of the day, it's your life and you are in charge of where it is heading.  You know yourself best, other people don't know the in's and out's so live according to what you want to do and don't feel pressured to be aiming for certain things just because it's what other people think you should be doing.

A lot of people are not exactly where they want to be in their lives but it doesn't mean they're not happy.

Sometimes it helps to normalise what you are feeling.  

I honestly don't think I've ever met a person who could say that they were exactly where they planned and wanted to be at this point in their life.

Things happen when they happen.  As long as you are motivated and striving for something, your life will fall into place.  It might not be what you originally planned but often it's the surprises and the unexpected that are most exciting.

Only worry about the things that really matter.

This can be a tricky one in practice as life can seem to throw a lot of pressure around us but if you think hard enough about it, so many of those pressures are quite superficial.  I told myself some time ago that so long as I was feeling relatively happy to be alive and all that entailed, then nothing else matters.  Although I may have strayed from that ideal a fair bit, I certainly feel it is worth revisiting.  

Take some time just for you.

I have tried for quite some time to set aside at least one day a week where I would just take the day at my own pace and do whatever I wanted.  In the process of getting very stressed out, I realised that the designated day had become consumed by 'sorting things out' - chasing up referrals, making calls, writing emails etc. and the 'me time' element had become almost completely lost.  However, now I am back on track, as far as I'm concerned having 'my day' is a priority as it puts so many other pressures into perspective; everything else can wait!

Any you time is good time, even if it isn't a whole day and just a couple of hours, make the most of it...

The main thing I like to do when I take some time for myself is go walking and I have to say, the walks have been pretty spectacular recently.

I hope this has given you some ideas on how you can take some of the pressure off in your life.

Love and Strength,

The One Day Seeker