Safety and Stabilisation: Grounding and Staying Present


After my last post, I felt the need to produce something more positive, if anything for a bit of light relief.
So I decided to return to the safety and stabilisation series that I started towards the end of last year.
I previously wrote some posts on various skills that are helpful to develop in the first phase of trauma therapy but may also be useful in a wider sense, these include:

Carrying on the series, this blog post will offer some skills and techniques that can be helpful in grounding yourself and making you feel more present.
To anyone who has not suffered from post traumatic symptoms, this idea of needing to feel more present probably makes very little sense, we are all here and present after all.
However, have you ever heard the saying 'there in body but not in spirit'?  I suppose it links to that.
A lot of people who have suffered trauma in their lives, particularly at a young age, may struggle with dissociation.

I have written a very detailed post in the past about dissociation, which can be found here.
In brief, dissociation entails a sort of zoning out and being out of touch with reality.  It is a defensive mechanism that many people develop during a traumatic event, separating themselves from what is happening and making it feel as though the traumatic event is not happening to them.
Dissociation can come in many different forms but in a general sense, it tends to involve feeling outside your body or out of touch with your surroundings and losing some sense of time and place.
Dissociation is a symptom that I have experienced and continue to experience a lot so learning skills that help me to manage it and come back to the present has been really important for my day to day functioning.
Traumatic memories cannot be processed while you are dissociated, it can only result in avoidance or reliving, so it is important to be able to manage your dissociative symptoms in order that it doesn't interfere with the processing phase of your treatment.

I am going to share some of the techniques I use when I experience dissociative symptoms to ground myself and bring myself back to the present.  Some of them I happened upon myself by way of experience, others were suggested to me in therapy.  In any case, I hope that if you struggle with dissociation, they will be useful to you, as they have been for me.
Even if you don't suffer from post traumatic symptoms or struggle with dissociation yourself, you may still want to try out some of the techniques and you may receive some benefit from them.  Dissociation is something that everyone experiences to some extent but generally it is not as pronounced or all consuming as the experiences of those who have suffered trauma and have a dissociative disorder.

A simple date and time check
This is probably the most simple technique I use but it is definitely very effective.
When you dissociate, you lose sense of time and you may feel as though you are more in the past than the present.
As soon as I start to experience dissociative symptoms, I will straightaway check the date and time so that I can remind myself that I am in the present and anything I might be thinking about that happened in the past isn't actually happening now.
A quick flash of a phone screen can be great for this.


To do lists
Dissociation can be very disorientating - you can lose track of time and where you are in terms of place.  This can be quite disconcerting and make you feel quite unsafe.
Because of this, I always tend to keep a list of things I am planning to do or have got to do each day.  I try to tick each thing I've done off as I go.  Not only does this give me a sense of achievement in feeling as though I've got things done, if I lose track of where I am in my day through dissociation, I can check up on my list and it can help to fill in the gaps of what I've done so far and where I'm meant to be.  Dissociation can make your day seem quite fragmented and disjointed.  Looking over a list of what you've done that day can help to pull all your experiences together.

Meditation: standing, walking, driving... anywhere!
I know the word 'meditation' can bring feelings of dread for some people. 
It certainly did for me at one stage - it seemed to bring up awkward images of a room full of people umming and ahhing who were in a kind of zone that I certainly was not.
In reality though I've come to see that meditation can be something far more subtle and personal than in the stereotypical sense perhaps; it can be tailored to the individual.
I suppose in my mind, meditation entails simply taking time to notice what you are experiencing both internally and in the world around you and just simply being and finding some form of peace or quiet in it.

The main guide I have tried to use is:
~ Notice where you are and what is happening around you.
~ While keeping your attention on whatever you are doing or seeing, also notice your breathing.  Is it loose and comfortable?
~ Check your posture.  Are you unnecessarily tense?
~ Let your mind oscillate between what is going on internally and externally.
~ Enjoy what you see: the sky, scenery, people, buildings, cars but don't dwell on any one thing for more than two to three seconds.  Just let your mind scan continuously.
~ Ask youself periodically: 'Am I in the present?'

What I like about this guide is that it is applicable to so many situations.  You don't have to go through all the stages, you can just turn to the ones you need or remember.  You can meditate absolutely anywhere and other people can be completely unaware that you are doing so.
In terms of dissociation, it can help you to be more aware and take in more of your surroundings, which will help to orientate you to the present situation.  
It can also help you to assess how present you feel.


Sit up, feel your feet on the ground and then get moving!
Dissociation can make you feel spacey and quite literally floppy.
In order to become more present, you almost have to act through your body that you are present so that your mind can follow suit.
If you are sitting in a chair then sometimes simply, planting your feet firmly on the floor, feeling the ground under them and putting your hands on the arms of the chair, as well as holding yourself up in a 'correct' upright posture, can help to ground you and feel present.
Personally, I find that in order to feel present, I have to feel that I can move.  Dissociation can make me feel quite stuck so I almost have to remind myself that I can move my muscles and prove to myself that I can by standing up, walking and feeling the ground underneath my feet.


A bit of a shock!
When I say a shock, it doesn't have to be a nasty one but a bit of a shock to the sense can definitely snap you back to the present.
If you encounter an overwhelming smell, for example, it is likely to make you feel more in the present or in the moment, quite simply because it is very difficult to ignore, even if your mind has been elsewhere!
This is a technique that is newer to me than others but in therapy we experimented with using strong, zesty smells to help me come back to the present when I've dissociated and it really worked!
Sometimes when I am quite severely dissociated, it is very difficult for me to think and engage enough to bring myself back to the present.  On those occasions, it can be much easier just to simply grab something that is likely to make me feel more present.
Strong minty or zesty smells have seemed to work the best.


Feeling things with an interesting texture
Sometimes just simply touching the things around you can help you to feel more present as you are alerting your senses to the things that are around you in the present situation.
I find touching things with a particularly distinctive texture to be quite effective.  I will sometimes put one of my favourite shells or stones in my pocket and if I start feeling less present, I will put my hand in my pocket and feel that it is still there, reminding me that I am indeed still in the present.


In a similar sense, I've found that walking across things with strong textures can help.
It may sound a bit strange or unusual but I find sitting down on a stoney beach or riverbank really grounding - it makes me feel more real, if anything because the discomfort of sitting on stones is quite unique and unmistakable!

 

The good old H2O!
Another very simple but effective one.
Drinking very chilled water can work as a bit of a shock to the senses that wakes you up to the present.
In addition, keeping hydrated helps to prevent and reduce levels of dissociation.
Taking a quick sip of water is one of the more practical and easier techniques to turn to when you are finding it difficult to use more complex thought processes to bring yourself back to the present.


I hope these ideas are helpful in some way.
I think it is important with dissociation not to get frustrated with yourself, as I have done in the past.  It is more helpful to recognise that dissociation has served as a very important purpose in your life as it has allowed you to cope and get on with your life when some of your experiences felt unliveable or unmanageable.  However, as you progress in your recovery, you can find other ways of coping in which you can still stay present in a way that is also safe and manageable.

Love and Strength,
The One Day Seeker

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