The Petrifying World of Panic Attacks
Has a terrifying feeling ever suddenly come over you in which you felt as though everything around you was going to swallow you up? You were trapped, you couldn't breathe, you wanted to run away, you might have been sweating or shaking and your heart might have felt as though it was pounding out of your chest?
If the answer is yes, you may have experienced a panic attack.
What are panic attacks?
A panic attack is a sudden surge of anxiety and has both mental and physical symptoms including:
~ Heart palpatations
~ Sweating
~ Shaking
~ Shortness of breath or feeling as though you can't breathe
~ Chest pain
~ Nausea
~ Feeling as though you need to go to the toilet
Panic attacks affect people differently so you may not experience all the symptoms above.
When you have a panic attack, your body goes into fight or flight mode which is a state it naturally goes into when you feel under threat. Your body becomes pumped with adrenaline, causing all the physical symptoms outlined above. Some people feel as though they become cut off from reality or out of touch with the things or people around them when they have a panic attack. Panic attacks can only last up to 20 minutes but some people can have recurring panic attacks, so panic attacks that occur one after another.
Panic attacks are much more common than you may think...
I learnt this mainly through experience and talking to people but I would say that most people experience a panic attack or at least have an experience of very heightened anxiety at one point or another in their lives. Some people will just experience one panic attack and it never happens again. I've heard of others having a period in which they suffered frequent panic attacks, often during a particularly stressful time in their lives. Some people may develop an anxiety or panic disorder and in this case, they may experience panic attacks for a prolonged period in their lives and may need help to manage their disorder. The body and mind can store panic attacks. They may remember the type of situation which originally triggered a panic attack and when the person finds themselves in a similar situation, they may automatically have a panic attack again. When this happens, generally, this is when a person is said to be suffering from a panic or anxiety disorder.
What is anxiety?
Anxiety is an emotion - a feeling of worry, unease or uncertainty.
Everyone can experience anxiety.
Anxiety is a feeling which anyone can experience, it is a normal emotion and a normal response to certain situations. Anxiety can actually be a really good thing. Another word for anxiety is stress and as much as the word 'stress' seems to trigger a sense of being bogged down or with steam coming out our ears, we actually need some stress in our lives. We need some level of stress in order to motivate ourselves to do something or feel pressure to do things. If we didn't experience any stress at all, we wouldn't do anything at all and the world would be a very boring an lifeless place.
There is often a tendency for people to say 'I have anxiety' but everyone has anxiety! What they actually mean is 'I suffer from anxiety'. What they are getting at is that the anxiety they experience has a bigger impact on their lives than they would like it to have. As I've said, experiencing anxiety is normal but if the level of anxiety we experience stops us from doing some of the things we want to, impacts on our relationships or mood or negatively affects the way we feel about ourselves, then that is when it becomes a problem.
My Experience of Anxiety and Panic Attacks
I can't even remember my first panic attack. I have experienced panic attacks for almost my whole life and I remember experiencing them regularly as a child. When some people experience their first panic attack, it's quite common for them to think that they are having a heart attack or the symptoms are so overwhelming, they feel as though they are going to die. To be honest, I can understand that as the physical symptoms are incredibly similar to ones associated with heart attacks and if you are struggling to breathe, it's quite a logical response to feel as though you are going to die. I don't remember ever feeling like that myself though. I experienced panic attacks before I was old enough to know what they were but I had an idea that they were brought on by feeling very scared or worried and all the symptoms were a result of quite literally panicking a lot.
As I have Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, the majority of panic attacks I experienced were related to the traumas I had been through. If I saw, smelt, tasted, felt or heard something related to one of my traumas, I would often have a panic attack in response as my mind and body would think that the trauma was actually happening again. However, I would say that I have always been a very anxious person and I think some people are just naturally wired to be that way. Generally speaking, situations that make me panic are ones in which I feel trapped and as though I can't get out easily. I always like to feel as though I could leave a place whenever I wanted to so something as simple as someone standing in front of a door or exit can cause me to experience a lot of anxiety.
I can't even count the amount of panic attacks I've had in my life or the amount of places where I've had panic attacks because they are just too many. During one bad period in my life, panic attacks were an everyday occurrence for me but I think the thing about panic attacks is, it doesn't matter how many you have, you never get used to them, it can still feel just as frightening the tenth time as it did the first time. For a number of years, every time I went out to a pub or a restaurant with my friends, I would have a panic attack. I wanted to be a normal young girl, I wanted to do the normal things, see my friends, have a chat and a laugh, go to places I loved and do the things I enjoyed. Every time I had a panic attack, I would pick myself up and push myself to do it again. I thought that if I kept on pushing myself to go out, eventually something would click and I wouldn't have a panic attack. The thing was, I was waiting for a breakthrough that never happened and every time I dragged myself home after having yet another panic attack, I felt as though I was getting further and further away from the life I wanted. Sometimes it was easier or safer to shut myself away from the world. At one point, just going out the front door or even leaving my bedroom would result in me having a panic attack.
I hated my life then but if I am to compare my life now to what was back then, there's simply no comparison because it is so much better now. I can't even remember the last panic attack I had. I've come close a number of times but I have the skills now and the confidence to control it and manage my anxiety. The best thing is, I got my life back, I'm not saying I'm where I want to be but things are so much better than they were. If you were to tell me a couple of years ago that I could go months without a panic attack, I would have told said you were crazy! I was stuck in a rut and it felt as though no matter what I tried, I was never going to get out but it seems I did.
I know just how desperate, hopeless and out of control panic attacks can make you feel but please know, your life does not have to be that way forever even if you can't see it right now.
One day panic attacks won't control your life and every struggle you've had in your past will just serve to make you appreciate what you have in the present all the more.
You're not a freak, you're not crazy, you're not a liability.
You're a unique, intelligent, sensitive and wonderful person who people love.
It can be so easy when you suffer from anxiety and panic attacks to feel completely cut off from other people. You can feel stupid for panicking over arguably silly things - I'm a grown adult why am I having a panic attack over something so little and trivial? You can end up feeling like a burden and a liability to other people. I often felt as though all I used to do was spoil things for my friends. Who wants to go out with someone who may have a panic attack at any moment? I felt like a safety hazard and as though I might as well just go out with tape all over me saying FRAGILE: MAY BREAK AT ANY MOMENT. You might ask yourself, why can't I just get a grip? If it really was that easy though, don't you think you could have done it by now?
None of these worries are actually true, they are just the way panic attacks can make you feel. Remember that everyone suffers from anxiety to some extent and panic attacks are incredibly common. The chances are when you are sat in that situation that really makes you anxious, there is someone on the other side of the room who is feeling exactly the same way as you. Everyone is fighting their own battles, their own struggles, their own anxieties in their lives. You are not alone - this is your battle but it can be overcome and it is easier to overcome it when you have people around you who love you and support you so don't push them away, they need you as much as you need them. Panic attacks can become a part of life experience, you learn things through them and knowledge is power. You're not weak, you're a strong person. Perhaps you will later be able to support others if they experience panic attacks. Some people won't understand but you can try to educate them and all the people who don't get the way you are just make you appreciate the ones who love you and accept you, panic attacks or no panic attacks.
Panic attacks do not have to control your life.
Panic attacks are not just something you have to put up with. They can be overcome, managed, prevented and a panic attack free existence is possible for anyone to achieve.
Here are some things I learnt over the years that can help you to deal with a panic attack...
Keep a diary and be mindful of what triggers your panic attacks.
At first, it is really important to track when you have panic attacks as you may start to notice a trend. You might notice that you tend to experience panic attacks at a certain time of day or there are particular situations which seem to trigger them. If you know what is likely to cause you to have a panic attack, you can better prepare yourself to face it
Recognise your warning signs.
Following on from being mindful of what is likely to cause you to have a panic attack, it is also helpful to recognise the signs when your panic attack begins to come on. The first thing you might notice is a sudden change in temperature - you might start feeling a bit hot. Another common first sign is your chest becoming tighter and your breathing starting to quicken. The quicker you spot a panic attack coming on, the quicker you are going to be able to curtail it.
Slow down your breathing.
The first thing you should do if you start having a panic attack is to focus on slowing down your breathing. If you get more oxygen into your lungs, all your other symptoms will gradually cease so it's an ideal starting point. People have all these different theories about slow and deep breathing - some swear by one in and four out, some say three in, three out and some say four in and seven out. The truth is, it doesn't matter how many you breathe in or out for, so long as the result is that your breathing slows down. It's about what works for you, some people won't be able to breathe out for seven seconds, I certainly couldn't at the best of times, let alone when I'm in a complete panic. I've found as well, when you're in the midst of a panic attack, it can be pretty difficult to attempt to think about numbers and breathing in and out. What I always tended to do to begin with was just focus on the out breath - trying to lengthen the out breath and having the idea in my head that with every out breath, some of the panic was leaving my body.
Keep on reminding yourself that it will pass.
One of the most terrifying things about panic attacks is that when you're in one, it can feel as though its never going to stop! In reality though, panic attacks cannot last any longer than 20 mins so when you are having a panic attack keep reminding yourself that it is going to pass. I used to try and think to myself - I've just been triggered, I'm having a panic attack, I'm not hurt or dying and this feeling will pass.
You CAN!
I found that in order to move forward with managing your panic attacks, you have to believe that things are going to improve and that you are going to be able to cope. It can be really hard to stay positive at times but it's like the secret ingredient - it can make such a difference when you're having a panic attack to hold onto to the little voice inside of you that is saying 'I can get through this'.
Leave the situation when you feel safe to do so.
I would exercise a bit of caution over this one. One of the only things which is almost guaranteed to stop a panic attack is getting away from the thing that is making us panic. It is also a natural response - we run away from things that make us feel under threat. This isn't always possible though as sometimes it is not so easy to leave a situation or the panic attack comes on very quickly and the symptoms physically prevent us from being able to walk away. Also if you always run away from the things that make you panic, it reinforces to your mind and body that you should be afraid of those things. It can therefore make it more likely that you will have a panic attack when you are in that situation again and it can make it more difficult if you try to re-enter the situation after managing your panic attack outside. Generally, I would recommend to try to manage your panic attack which staying in the situation and then going outside after it has passed. A hit of fresh air can be really helpful in getting your breathing back to normal and bringing you round from the physical symptoms. If you feel as though this approach is really not working though, your finding it hard to calming yourself down in the situation you're in, then trust your instincts, leave and then calm yourself down.
You have got space.
Panic attacks can make you feel very trapped and enclosed. I suffer from trauma related claustrophobia so this feeling often felt particularly prominent when I was having a panic attack. If you feel as though everything is closing in on you, remind yourself that you do have space. Try to rationalise it and establish the facts - I've got about a metre between me and the person next to me, I could fit a ruler between me and the table I'm sitting at and there's an open window over there - there's a lot of space out there. Sometimes you actually really haven't got much space and it's hard to convince yourself otherwise so in that situation, it may help to take yourself outside or into a bigger space if you can.
Look after yourself following a panic attack.
A panic attack is almost like your mind and body having a sudden, extreme workout. It makes you physically and mentally exhausted. You have to be kind to yourself and accept that you are going to feel tired after a panic attack. I find the best post panic attack cures are water, fresh air, a short walk, a bath or shower and a lot of sleep. Whenever I had a panic attack, it almost felt my self esteem took a bit of a knock. It can be scary when we suddenly lose control and can cause us to lose a bit of confidence in ourselves. You have to try not to let yourself think that you are a failure or weak for having a panic attack, it is a normal and natural response. Try to look at it that at the moment, having a panic attack is your response to certain situations but it is not always going to be that way, you will find better ways of coping.
Reflect on how you managed your panic attack.
Only when you feel as though you have recovered from a panic attack should you reflect on it. Try to focus on the positives and recognise your achievements. You may have had a really bad panic attack but still felt able to rejoin the situation afterwards - that shows great resilience and deserves celebrating. At the same time though, try to think about areas where you could improve - could you have spotted the warning signs sooner? Did the breathing technique you used work as well as others had done in the past? Each panic attack can provide an opportunity to reflect upon how you are going to improve your coping skills and eventually free yourself from having panic attacks altogether.
Don't suffer alone or in silence.
This one counts for a lot. I used to be so scared of having a panic attack in public or in front of other people - I thought that people were going to think I was a complete weirdo along with countless other awful things. In reality though, the more you worry about having a panic attack, the more likely you are going to have one. Remember that everyone experiences anxiety on some level and that panic attacks are incredibly common. You are not alone so you do not have to act as though you are alone in your struggles. If I was to pinpoint my main piece of advice on this subject it would be - tell someone. Tell someone - a close friend or someone you trust that you have been suffering from panic attacks and explain to them the kind of situations which make you panic. It can be hard to take that leap but having the pressure of feeling as though you have to hide your panic attacks and worrying about what other people might think about you on top of everything else, is not going to make it any easier, it's going to make it harder and it doesn't have to be that way. When you go into a situation that makes you anxious, just knowing that you have someone with you who is aware that you are likely to find it difficult, can make such a difference. You never know, your friend may also suffer from anxiety or may know others who do, they may even have ideas to help you.
You'll never know until take the plunge and start talking about it.
How to support someone who is having a panic attack.
Here are some things I learnt over the years that can help you to deal with a panic attack...
Keep a diary and be mindful of what triggers your panic attacks.
At first, it is really important to track when you have panic attacks as you may start to notice a trend. You might notice that you tend to experience panic attacks at a certain time of day or there are particular situations which seem to trigger them. If you know what is likely to cause you to have a panic attack, you can better prepare yourself to face it
Recognise your warning signs.
Following on from being mindful of what is likely to cause you to have a panic attack, it is also helpful to recognise the signs when your panic attack begins to come on. The first thing you might notice is a sudden change in temperature - you might start feeling a bit hot. Another common first sign is your chest becoming tighter and your breathing starting to quicken. The quicker you spot a panic attack coming on, the quicker you are going to be able to curtail it.
Slow down your breathing.
The first thing you should do if you start having a panic attack is to focus on slowing down your breathing. If you get more oxygen into your lungs, all your other symptoms will gradually cease so it's an ideal starting point. People have all these different theories about slow and deep breathing - some swear by one in and four out, some say three in, three out and some say four in and seven out. The truth is, it doesn't matter how many you breathe in or out for, so long as the result is that your breathing slows down. It's about what works for you, some people won't be able to breathe out for seven seconds, I certainly couldn't at the best of times, let alone when I'm in a complete panic. I've found as well, when you're in the midst of a panic attack, it can be pretty difficult to attempt to think about numbers and breathing in and out. What I always tended to do to begin with was just focus on the out breath - trying to lengthen the out breath and having the idea in my head that with every out breath, some of the panic was leaving my body.
Keep on reminding yourself that it will pass.
One of the most terrifying things about panic attacks is that when you're in one, it can feel as though its never going to stop! In reality though, panic attacks cannot last any longer than 20 mins so when you are having a panic attack keep reminding yourself that it is going to pass. I used to try and think to myself - I've just been triggered, I'm having a panic attack, I'm not hurt or dying and this feeling will pass.
You CAN!
I found that in order to move forward with managing your panic attacks, you have to believe that things are going to improve and that you are going to be able to cope. It can be really hard to stay positive at times but it's like the secret ingredient - it can make such a difference when you're having a panic attack to hold onto to the little voice inside of you that is saying 'I can get through this'.
Leave the situation when you feel safe to do so.
I would exercise a bit of caution over this one. One of the only things which is almost guaranteed to stop a panic attack is getting away from the thing that is making us panic. It is also a natural response - we run away from things that make us feel under threat. This isn't always possible though as sometimes it is not so easy to leave a situation or the panic attack comes on very quickly and the symptoms physically prevent us from being able to walk away. Also if you always run away from the things that make you panic, it reinforces to your mind and body that you should be afraid of those things. It can therefore make it more likely that you will have a panic attack when you are in that situation again and it can make it more difficult if you try to re-enter the situation after managing your panic attack outside. Generally, I would recommend to try to manage your panic attack which staying in the situation and then going outside after it has passed. A hit of fresh air can be really helpful in getting your breathing back to normal and bringing you round from the physical symptoms. If you feel as though this approach is really not working though, your finding it hard to calming yourself down in the situation you're in, then trust your instincts, leave and then calm yourself down.
You have got space.
Panic attacks can make you feel very trapped and enclosed. I suffer from trauma related claustrophobia so this feeling often felt particularly prominent when I was having a panic attack. If you feel as though everything is closing in on you, remind yourself that you do have space. Try to rationalise it and establish the facts - I've got about a metre between me and the person next to me, I could fit a ruler between me and the table I'm sitting at and there's an open window over there - there's a lot of space out there. Sometimes you actually really haven't got much space and it's hard to convince yourself otherwise so in that situation, it may help to take yourself outside or into a bigger space if you can.
Look after yourself following a panic attack.
A panic attack is almost like your mind and body having a sudden, extreme workout. It makes you physically and mentally exhausted. You have to be kind to yourself and accept that you are going to feel tired after a panic attack. I find the best post panic attack cures are water, fresh air, a short walk, a bath or shower and a lot of sleep. Whenever I had a panic attack, it almost felt my self esteem took a bit of a knock. It can be scary when we suddenly lose control and can cause us to lose a bit of confidence in ourselves. You have to try not to let yourself think that you are a failure or weak for having a panic attack, it is a normal and natural response. Try to look at it that at the moment, having a panic attack is your response to certain situations but it is not always going to be that way, you will find better ways of coping.
Reflect on how you managed your panic attack.
Only when you feel as though you have recovered from a panic attack should you reflect on it. Try to focus on the positives and recognise your achievements. You may have had a really bad panic attack but still felt able to rejoin the situation afterwards - that shows great resilience and deserves celebrating. At the same time though, try to think about areas where you could improve - could you have spotted the warning signs sooner? Did the breathing technique you used work as well as others had done in the past? Each panic attack can provide an opportunity to reflect upon how you are going to improve your coping skills and eventually free yourself from having panic attacks altogether.
Don't suffer alone or in silence.
This one counts for a lot. I used to be so scared of having a panic attack in public or in front of other people - I thought that people were going to think I was a complete weirdo along with countless other awful things. In reality though, the more you worry about having a panic attack, the more likely you are going to have one. Remember that everyone experiences anxiety on some level and that panic attacks are incredibly common. You are not alone so you do not have to act as though you are alone in your struggles. If I was to pinpoint my main piece of advice on this subject it would be - tell someone. Tell someone - a close friend or someone you trust that you have been suffering from panic attacks and explain to them the kind of situations which make you panic. It can be hard to take that leap but having the pressure of feeling as though you have to hide your panic attacks and worrying about what other people might think about you on top of everything else, is not going to make it any easier, it's going to make it harder and it doesn't have to be that way. When you go into a situation that makes you anxious, just knowing that you have someone with you who is aware that you are likely to find it difficult, can make such a difference. You never know, your friend may also suffer from anxiety or may know others who do, they may even have ideas to help you.
You'll never know until take the plunge and start talking about it.
How to support someone who is having a panic attack.
Following on from the last point, sometimes it can be helpful to have someone there to support you when you are having a panic attack. Also, it can also be quite scary to see someone have a panic attack and can be difficult to know the best thing to do. The best way to support someone who suffers from panic attacks is to ask them what they would like you to do if they were to have a panic attack. Everyone is different. Personally, I liked to be given space and left on my own when I had a panic attack. However, here are a few pointers which may help if you find yourself in a situation where someone is having a panic attack...
~ Stay calm - There is nothing worse than having people crowding and flapping around in a panic when you're having a panic attack. You have to try to be a calming presence - show the person that they are not in danger or under threat because you don't look as though you are in danger or under threat.
~ Let them tell you what they need - Don't tell them what to do or put pressure on them to calm down. Simply remind them that you are there with them and if they want or need anything to ask. They might ask for water so it may help to have some at the ready.
~ Encourage them to slow down their breathing but be gentle with them. It can help to take some slow deep breaths alongside them - it can give them something to follow and can help them to feel as though you are in it together.
~ If you are to say anything to them at all - remind them that it will pass, they will feel better in a minute and encourage them - tell them they are doing really well - you can see their breathing slowing down and to keep up the good work.
~ Be there for them following a panic attack - ask them what they feel they need, if they say they feel they need a bit of space and to be on their own, respect that. Go for a walk with them, if that's what they want. Be understanding if they want to change the plans they may have made with you.
~ Tell them not to let it get them down - make clear that they shouldn't feel weak or embarrassed, they coped with the situation really well, they are still a great friend to you, they mean a lot to you and if anything, their struggles, just make you appreciate just how much of a strong person they are.
~ Stay calm - There is nothing worse than having people crowding and flapping around in a panic when you're having a panic attack. You have to try to be a calming presence - show the person that they are not in danger or under threat because you don't look as though you are in danger or under threat.
~ Let them tell you what they need - Don't tell them what to do or put pressure on them to calm down. Simply remind them that you are there with them and if they want or need anything to ask. They might ask for water so it may help to have some at the ready.
~ Encourage them to slow down their breathing but be gentle with them. It can help to take some slow deep breaths alongside them - it can give them something to follow and can help them to feel as though you are in it together.
~ If you are to say anything to them at all - remind them that it will pass, they will feel better in a minute and encourage them - tell them they are doing really well - you can see their breathing slowing down and to keep up the good work.
~ Be there for them following a panic attack - ask them what they feel they need, if they say they feel they need a bit of space and to be on their own, respect that. Go for a walk with them, if that's what they want. Be understanding if they want to change the plans they may have made with you.
~ Tell them not to let it get them down - make clear that they shouldn't feel weak or embarrassed, they coped with the situation really well, they are still a great friend to you, they mean a lot to you and if anything, their struggles, just make you appreciate just how much of a strong person they are.
Love and Strength,
The One Day Seeker.
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